Since 2020, when our world was rocked by the Covid Pandemic, it appears our world has become isolated within itself. During that time, people found their “bubble of one or two” and have not broken that bubble since. Some would say there is nothing wrong with that, but I beg to differ. There’s a whole big world of people out there and isolating yourself from them is a shame. The more isolated one becomes from that outer world, the more isolated one’s thoughts become. Even one’s beliefs and understanding of the world suffers.
I think everyone should have a few friends. I’ve never felt like I needed “hundreds” of friends, but I do like to have a diverse group of friends that have like interests, who challenge me to think differently. In order to make new
friends in my life, I had to learn at an early age that my effort equated to the success of making a new friend. It was not easy. I found that as a military dependent it was easier when we moved near other military families. But when we moved into the civilian populace, it was very difficult. Old friendships were tight, and breaking into a group that had been together since pre-school could almost be impossible. But I had to make the effort. “I” had to make the first move. I couldn’t just sit at home and hope someone would knock on my door and ask if I wanted to play. Or when I was an adult, wait for someone to notice I moved into the neighborhood. So, when my husband retired and we moved to Arizona, I knew that it was up to me to be the friendship builder.
I must admit that getting in touch with people is a lot easier these days with a computer or smart phone. I simply reached out to our local neighborhood social media page and asked if anyone wanted to be my friend . . . Yes, you read that correctly. My post read:
To my surprise, 156 women responded! Well, that was a little more than I had anticipated. I should have realized I was sending out a message to a very large community and might get a big response. I pulled together a Meet Up at our local club house, with ladies bringing food, drink and decorations. We played “get to know you” games, and then I broke the women up into small groups of 12-15. The small group became their “new” best friends and would get together when they chose, doing the things they wanted to do. I was thrilled with my new group, named the Desert Divas.
Fast forward a year and half, and the groups are still going strong. I have made more friends than just my group of gals, and find I have something to do whenever I want. But here’s the thing, I can’t tell you how many of my friends have stated that they were beside themselves before I sent out that friend request. Many of them had moved from out of state and had been here for years with no friends. Others, who had made their bubble so small, only had relatives to do things with, and longed to have friendships like they once had. They were lonely, lacked motivation, and dreaded a future with no friends. I totally got it. Friends are GOOD. Friends are necessary. Friends make life better. But ironically, when I meet someone outside of the 156 women that joined our Girls Just Want to Have Fun Group, almost every time, that person says, “I wish someone would do that in our neighborhood.” I respond with, “Why can’t that someone be you?” They always seem surprised by my response. The truth is, everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move. But if we all did that, there would never be a first move. If I had never sent my post, 156 women would still be sitting at home wishing they had a friend.
Isn’t it time to get out of our Covid funk and get back to living? Isn’t it time that we broaden our lives through social interaction? I truly believe that if we started getting out there and experiencing different things and people, the whole dynamic of our society would change. Maybe we would not sit on a computer all day judging people or ignore others who think differently from us. Perhaps if we had friends of diverse backgrounds, race, ethnicity, religion, sex, we might be more understanding of each other. Our world needs to get back to authentic friendships, and the only way to do that is for each of us to make an effort to change the narrative. Be the neighbor to welcome the new one. Be the person at soccer to greet the other parents. Be the guy that puts together a poker night or fantasy football pool with men you see at the gym or at your children’s events. Start a Book Club with strangers at the library. Start a walking or hiking group through your neighborhood social page. Plan a Social Get Together in a local park and meet someone new. I guarantee you, you will be happy you made the first move. Not only will you benefit from the new friendship, but you might be giving someone else a new lease on life. You just never know. It takes an effort to meet new friends, but it’s worth the effort.
