I live in a neighborhood with tree-lined streets, village parks, a town square, and over twenty-five miles of walking trails. Believe it or not, it’s in Southwest Arizona. Here, the sun shines most of the year, and beautiful sunsets appear out of nowhere; painted against the mountains like a piece of artwork by Leonardo Di Vinci. At the base of the White Tank Mountains, lives a diverse community of people, different in age, ethnicity, culture, and beliefs. Built on the mid-west feeling of small-town America, the community thrives on its uniqueness in southern Arizona. But like all communities across the United States, with its positive attributes come the negative ones. One of those negative attributes is the decline in people being active in their community.
I imagine that when this “small town” was designed twenty years ago, the developers or founders all envisioned a neighborhood of people coming together under park pavilions on weekends or evenings to share in life’s celebrations. They could foresee the families simply getting together for no reason at all. I’ve been told that this, indeed, happened for many years. But over time, something changed. . . the people changed. Why? What happened?
I’d like to blame it all on Covid in 2019 and 2020. But the truth is, people were changing before the pandemic arrived. They didn’t just change in this unique community in Arizona, they changed all across the United States. People became self-centered, ego-centric, for a lack of a better term. Neighborhoods throughout the states saw a decline in community pride, cohesiveness, and genuine empathy for others. Perhaps it all began to change when social media entered our world. When heads went down to stare at a screen, instead of eyes connecting with a neighbor nearby. Maybe there was no need for friends in one’s community, because the social community online was far greater and easier than having an authentic friendship.
No matter the reason for the change, it happened, unfortunately. Now, gone are the days of sitting on the front porch talking to a neighbor while children play in the streets. Gone is the neighbor who threw block parties, lent lawn equipment,
or offered to watch your children so you could have a few hours to yourself. Gone are the neighbors who cleaned the local park or picked up trash in the neighborhood just because it needed to be done. Instead, now front porches collect dust, while neighbors drive past without a simple wave of the hand. They open their garages, disappearing into the blackness of their homes, shutting the door behind them to their community with the message, “Leave me alone.” The parks lay quiet. The streets simply an avenue for transportation, have no chalk-games or children running up and down them. The community, quiet, as if in slumber; waiting to be awoken, longs for the good ‘ol days when it was full of parties and laughter.
But is this how it must be? Can’t we, as people of our community turn back time and reverse the decline in neighborhood social norms? I think we can. I believe it takes one or two people on a street to make the first move. The first gesture doesn’t have to be huge. It could be the simple action of baking a treat for a neighbor or presenting some cut flowers to someone new. It could be stepping (slightly) in the street and stopping your neighbor to introduce yourself. Or YOU could take the initiative and host a Social Hour where everyone on the street brings a drink and appetizer for a meet up in your yard or driveway. Did you notice the word, “you” in that last suggestion? Here’s the thing, if not YOU, then WHO? I can’t tell you how many times I have heard someone say, “I wish someone would do that on our street.” It boggles my mind that they don’t see that it could be them that makes the first move.
In a world of reclusive neighbors, there’s a good probability that others are waiting for someone like you to take the lead. It’s not that they don’t long for an active community, they just don’t know how to change what has become the norm. But you do. After all, I just gave you a few suggestions. . .
If you look around, I’m sure you can find small enclaves or even streets to inspire you. Because there are some out there. There are folks out there, working hard to regain the community they recall from yesteryear. My relatives live in California, their whole street comes together to throw the biggest Independence Day party ever. Three streets over from me, there is a cul-de-sac that has Driveway Parties monthly. In the town of Southport, NC, it is known for its small-town charm and friendly streets. So, there ARE people out there working together to improve their communities.
The reality is, it takes EVERYONE in the neighborhood to be invested in their community to make it a “great community.” It takes someone offering to lead, and followers responding positively to that offer. WE can’t keep waiting for someone to step up and make the first move. WE must make that pivotal gesture. We can’t be afraid of being turned down or offended. WE can’t be afraid to fail. It won’t be easy. I know, I’ve tried. It hasn’t always been successful. But I continue to try. And guess what? With each attempt, I see more and more involvement. I’m lucky. I have amazing neighbors. But, of course, I had to meet them first to know this. And THEY had to respond to my first move. Either way, it takes all of us wanting to right a ship that has lost its course. The only way to bring back our great communities, like the one I live in, is to start small with the people on our street. Because it’s going to “take a village” to turn around years of community isolation.
