The month of April celebrates the Military Child, and to me this is a very special honor. Who do you know that gets to have a whole month of celebrations? I know, I know, many people question why the military child gets a whole month and not just a day. Honestly, I don’t know. But what I do know is April is set aside as a Military Child Appreciation Month, officially known as the Month of the Military Child. With its creation in the mid-1980s, the Pentagon and other military support organizations and agencies use the month to recognize military kids for their sacrifice and bravery on the home front; this according to military.com. I also know that in the last twenty years, communities outside of the military have begun to make a big deal about celebrating military children. The reason is because more and more children are finding their homes in civilian communities. Schools, churches and civic organizations are playing much bigger roles in supporting families whose parent/ or parents are deployed. As a military child, a mother of military children, and a teacher of military children, I can attest to the fact that the “whole” month of April is certainly deserved.
By the time I graduated from high school I had attended 10 schools. I had lived in 9 different states or countries, and I could claim more than five best friends. My story is not unique, I am just one of thousands of now grown military children looking back on my life because of this very special month. Growing up before the 1980’s, the military child was an enigma to most people outside of the military. We were “odd” kids that lived a nomadic life, who thought different than others, and who often were much more outgoing than the average youth. My generation spent much of our lives in an insulated world, on military bases with schools, church, housing, grocery stores and activities. We were close knit with our peers and we stood by each other when out of our element. On the rare occasion that we lived in a civilian community, we were often looked at as outsiders. We were active members of the community, but still we didn’t fit in.
Today’s military child’s life is much different. With the closing of bases and the downsizing of military housing, families now find themselves thrust into communities that have very little interaction with military life. The support mechanism for these children are no longer their peers but organization put into place to help with transitions caused by moves, deployments and the death of a parent. Unlike my generation, military children may have more than one parent in the military, making life even more difficult. With divorce rates growing over the years, children of military members now separated, make things even harder.
For me, I had an extraordinary life as a military child. Having four other siblings made transitions easier. We had our own built in group of friends no matter where we moved. And moved we did. I was born in West Germany a month before the Berlin Wall was erected. It was a wild time, a time of worry of the unknown. But my parents managed to survive having four children during the temporary evacuation of dependents, as well as, one of Germany’s worst winters – burning our wooden toys to heat our home while ushering in their fifth child. From there we returned to the US where we fell into American life. Before long, my dad went off to war and like most military families, we returned to my mother’s home, where she would have support when needed. We lived next to a nunnery and played to the smiles of the nuns. We learned what relatives were and the joy of having them so near. After Vietnam, we found ourselves in a little town in Southern Spain, with our villa, house keeper and hairdresser. We had a huge fruit orchard in the front yard and a large swimming pool where I learned to swim. We were exposed to gypsies, flamingo dancers and peddlers selling pon (bread) and pepas (sunflower seeds.) We learned how to speak Spanish, talk to the LaGuardia (police) and sing Yellow Submarine from our movers. Life was splendid in Spain and we were thankful for the many amazing new experiences there. But like all military children, we were very sad to leave our home and return to America. When we returned, life in America had changed. We had to adjust quickly to fit in. Our schools in Spain were behind our Texas school and we had to make great strides in catching up. We had to figure out how to drink a soda, as the tab had been changed and we couldn’t figure out how to even open the can!(odd but true) We also learned what TEXAS FOOTBALL was. After a few years, and moves of living in civilian communities, we moved to West Germany. This time our parents brought four teenagers with them. We lived in a small German town at first. It was a great way to acclimate us to new customs, foods and language. We loved it but over time we found the distance to school too far and moved onto a base. But our parents made sure we learned to speak German, experience the culture and even make a few German friends. Our four years in Germany were exceptional, and left us all with lasting memories. When we returned to America we were heartbroken. We missed our friends and the lives we had made. But like always, our parents encourage the last two of their children to get involved in the local activities found in our small town of Idaho. It was different but was a time that filled our lives with friends and memories we have kept well into adulthood.
But moving WAS hard. The constant changes, the leaving of friends, the transfer of schools filled our lives with disappointment and sadness. But it made us strong. It made us find opportunities where most would not look. It forced us to come out of our shells and be the very best that we could be. And when our parent was gone and we had one parent holding down the fort, we learned to have empathy and patience. We learned that distance does make the heart grow fonder. But most of all, we learned that a parent is not to be ignored, but treated with respect and love.
I’ve done some amazing things in my life as a military child- ones I have not shared here – but the most amazing thing I have done is I have survived and flourished because I was born into a military family. I often wonder what I would be like if I had grown up like a “normal” kid, and I honestly can say, I don’t think I would have been as outgoing, forward thinking, open minded or successful. I also wouldn’t be as passionate about the lives of others, nor as proud to be an American as I am. I am the lucky one… I’m a Military Child!
So the next time you come across a child of the military, I hope you will thank them for their sacrifices and bravery, for their story is one that books are written about… just look at John McCain, Reese Witherspoon, Bruce Willis, Tiger Woods, and Newt Gingrich to name a few…
