It’s your first time away from family and a big holiday is looming ahead. What do you do? Do you look sad and forlorn and hope a work colleague asks you over for dinner? Do you plan a trip to a close-by getaway? Or do you bite the bullet and start your own holiday tradition?
Well, it depends on the holiday of course. And it also depends on you. If holidays are not your thing, then take a trip. If you aren’t into planning and making up your own traditions or doing the ones you grew up with…well, look for a friend at work and lament how you miss your family and being alone. I’m sure you’ll be invited to celebrate with this kind soul. But my advice to every person going out on their own for the first time is, start your own tradition. No matter what, you will eventually have to figure out your holiday plans, because after all, you are a grown up now.
Perhaps the hardest holidays to be alone are Thanksgiving and Christmas/or the equivalent in various religions. These are “family” holidays and can be depressing for most people alone during these times. So do yourself a favor and embrace each holiday as it presents itself.
The best way to survive your first holiday alone is to make a plan…seriously. Start by thinking about what you liked as a child at home, and write down all the things you want to keep in your own celebration of the holiday. This includes favorite foods, games, traditions. Once you have this written down, think about adding something new that is all your own. Maybe it’s something you heard or read about or found on Pinterest. Put this down on your list too.
Next, DECORATE. It may sound crazy but decorating your place will help you get into the mood of the holiday. You don’t need to spend a ton of money, but with a few small items you will cheer up just thinking about the holiday. A simple flower arrangement (even in a man’s apartment) can go a long way for getting in the mood. When purchasing decorations be smart. Don’t waste your money on paper decor. Go to your discount stores like TJMaxx, Ross, Marshalls and Big Lots and find a few decorations that you can build upon each year. Buy items that when the holiday is over, you can put into a rubbermaid/or container and use year after year. Now is a great time to start a collection of something. You’ll always remember the first decorations you bought for yourself.
Then, write a list of all the friends that might be alone on the this holiday and carefully think about which ones you could imagine spending the whole day with…because you definitely don’t want to invite someone to your home if you can only handle fifteen minutes of their company. Set the list aside and then plan out your day. Decide if you want to invite any of these friends to share in your holiday.
Things to think about:
Thanksgiving:
Friends: If you can invite a friend or more over, this is the best way to roll. Thanksgiving is a tad bit more fun with friends.
Food: Depending on how many friends you invite, always divvy up the bringing of food. You should never try to host the whole meal yourself. Why? Because most likely your friend is feeling a little lonely too; and being responsible for bringing a dish to your home will help him/her get in the mood of the day. Besides, it’s cheaper if you share the cost of a Thanksgiving meal.
Activities: Always plan an activity, whether it’s watching football, baking the dessert together, or having everyone write a card of why they are thankful for each other. By having something planned, it breaks up the gloominess that might set in after the meal is over and everyone starts thinking of home.
BEING BY YOURSELF:You notice I did not say “ALONE.” IF you choose to celebrate the day without others around…HAVE FUN!!! Still make your plan for the day. Instead of cooking for yourself, find a place that you can pick up a meal or sit down for a meal. Find something to do on that day that truly interests you, whether it’s a movie, a hike, a photo outing. DON’T do something you could do any day of the week. Most importantly, take time to call at least one friend or family member and tell them why you are thankful they are in your life. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful you will feel at the end of the day.
Christmas/Hanukkah: Perhaps the most difficult holiday to be away from family is Christmas or Hanukkah. Shrouded in customs and traditions, families join together more than probably any other holiday. So what do you do when you can’t get home?
MAKE A PLAN: A plan for this holiday has to start early because we all know that December is a month of parties and gatherings like no other month. As a single person, you don’t want to find yourself calling friends to join you, only to find that they have already made plans for the holiday. So by the first week of December you should make a plan as to what you want to do.
Friends: Choose friends that have the desire to celebrate the holiday. Don’t just choose anyone, because you might get someone that is a stick in the mud…which might make you depressed about not being home. Don’t expect those that you invite to stay all day either. (They may have others they wish to see on this day.) IF you can get a friend to spend Christmas Eve with you and on into the next day, you can have fun decorating, baking, watching Christmas movies etc.
Decorate:Definitely decorate your home for this holiday. Like Thanksgiving… invest in quality (but inexpensive) decorations. Start by purchasing a small tree /or menorah. Shop at the stores mentioned above for ornaments and lights. You don’t have to have the most elaborate tree but start small and add to it each year. Hang a few lights in your window or even on your wall of your living room. Buy a candle that smells like the holiday.
Traditions: Make sure you do your favorite traditions and ADD a new one that is your own. (or add some of your invited guests’ traditions) When you get involved in the traditions you grew up with, you not only enjoy the holiday more, you carryon something of your family for generations to come. I always like to add new traditions if I can. Some you might try are, cookie making, ornament making, shopping on Black Friday, sending cards, start a collection of ornaments, and eating a particular food for breakfast.
Being By Yourself:This can actually be a fun time to celebrate the holiday by yourself. Imagine making a plan where you are so busy doing all the things you wanted to do on this holiday. Imagine decorating a tree the way YOU want, like in a particular theme. Or baking the cookies you always wanted but no one liked in your family. You can spend weeknights watching holiday movies and adding decorations in every room of your home! Instead of the traditional holiday meal, you could actually add things to it, making enough to freeze for New Years while you watch football or the latest NETFLIX series you fell behind on. You could volunteer at a local Homeless Shelter, or travel to different churches and synagogues throughout the month checking them out. And if you are missing home, you can make it a mission to document your activities on your phone and send them to loved ones far away so that they can share in your exciting holiday activities.
These are just two holidays of many that require a little planning to keep the blues away when you are by yourself. The thing to remember is that everyone at one point in their life must be away from family during a holiday. It’s just the way it is in our fast paced working world. So don’t get down and and sulk around, embrace this exciting time when YOU get to take control and make your holiday what YOU always wanted. You’ll be surprised how much fun you will have if you let yourself enjoy the holiday!