Alessandro Carolone~artist
When I was young I thought love was what I saw on the big screen. I was led to believe that roses and candy were signs of love for another, and that cards of witty prose expressed emotions only felt between lovers. But now that I am older, and wiser, I have come to realize that love is so much more than what we see in the movies, or the words found in an overly expensive card. Love, love that matters, is given quietly and with great ease.
As the Year of the Pandemic slides into another year, it is a great time to truly look at those we love and understand what makes our love special. I have to admit that I have thought about “love” a great deal as I have grown older, perhaps I find it less fleeting and more important now. I guess when we are young, we think we have the rest of our lives to find the love of our life, or the rest of our lives to tell those we love how much they mean to us. But the truth is, we don’t have the rest of our lives. Our lives are just a speck of dust in this vast universe, here today and gone tomorrow. We cannot know what tomorrow brings, so it is now that we should acknowledge love that truly matters.
I have been married for longer than half my life. One thing I have learned, is that the big gestures don’t count as much as the “quiet” gestures that no one pays attention to. Don’t get me wrong, I love the flowers my husband brings home to me, the surprise presents and the romantic dinners. But what I really love are the things he doesn’t know I notice. The things that he does because he loves me and wants me to be happy; the things he does without being asked or does without complaint. You know what I am talking about, the love that matters.
For me, I know my husband loves me because he quietly gets up from watching television, having noticed I put a blanket over my legs, and returns with a cup of hot cocoa for me. He shows me love by going grocery shopping on his way home from work, knowing how much I hate it because of my food allergies. He loves me because out of nowhere, a package of difficult to find hypo-allergenic shampoo shows up at my door, after I have off- handedly commented I couldn’t find it anywhere. He displays love for me as he pulls the garbage bins out in the wee hours of the morning, when I could do it later. And when he listens to my silly stories that sound crazy without telling me I’m nuts, I definitely know he loves me. Oh, I know what you are thinking. You probably believe these small gestures are no big deal. But aren’t they? Isn’t it special that he does these things for me because he wishes to make me happy, because he loves me?
You see, it’s the little things that bind two people together in love. It’s not the money, the success or the grand gestures that express true love. And if you are thinking about love that matters in your life, take a moment and ask yourself, what little things do I do that show love? Am I doing everything I can to express my unending love for someone or something? Because the fact is, love that matters is quiet, easy and oh, so fulfilling. So as this Valentine’s Day rolls around, make the grand gestures… be the movie star in your own story, but don’t forget, that it’s the small gestures of love every day, that truly matter.
It really is those little things! I love your examples. They clearly show how much your husband loves you. For me, it’s not just the husband things, like how he always manages to sneak into the bedroom and make the bed before I’ve even eaten my breakfast … it’s the kids and grandkid things. Last week my granddaughter sent me a quick message to ask a question about the pool we’re getting ready to build. We hadn’t talked about it for a few weeks, so the fact that she brought it up reminded me that she thinks of me on the other side of the country. It’s a bit like a written hug. Love comes in all shapes and sizes. I’m happy you found yours!