Archive | September 2013

The Drunk Parking Lot Designer

Have you ever wondered if your nearby parking lot was designed by a drunk? I’m pretty sure our town hired such a person. It’s crazy really….having a drunk parking lot designer …but I’m sure that most readers would agree that parking lots are not designed well.  As a matter of fact, I think most people would agree that no right minded person could come up with such ill-planned parking spaces and roads. (No offense to the actual designers of parking lots.)  For example, how many times have you tried to exit a parking row only to find that it deadends at a curb leading to nowhere?

The other day I watched as three cars tried to find the exit to a parking area in the nearby mall. I’m guessing that the second car followed the first thinking that driver knew what he/she was doing.  When they ended up at a deadend, they weaved their way around the parking lot until they finally found the only entrance. I, of course laughed, and went into the nearby store. As I exited, I had forgotten about the cars and did what???? Yep, drove to a deadend and had to weave my way all the way back to where I came in.  I’m pretty sure I looked like a drunk parking lot driver!

What must a person be to design a parking lot? I’m pretty sure an architect of some kind right?  Then why oh why would he/she put a median and large tree on a busy  “narrow” section of a parking lot forcing cars to barely miss each other as they try to get where they are going. Does the architect sit in his/her office and say, “How can we make this dangerous and exciting?” Do they say, “Let’s make this one a maze and see how many people get stuck inside the lot at the end of the day?” It really is crazy the things these designers do. Which makes me wonder if they have had a few too many drinks before they start drawing the blue prints….or whatever color of prints they might be. 

Don’t even get me started on the spaces they provide for cars….I don’t even think a Mini-Cooper could fit in some of them. The other day I saw a truck pull into the local grocery store and I wasn’t sure what the driver was doing at first. As I got out of my car, I had to laugh. The driver took four, yes four, parking spaces. He was driving one of those Ford F150’s or F7000’s or whatever…you get the idea. It was BIG! It had the double tires and the extended cab and it rocked…if you are into the truck thing. There was no way that truck was fitting length ways into one little parking spot, nor was it skinny enough to fit into a slot. So the driver just parked right into the middle of four spaces. Clever, I thought.  But really? What’s a driver to do? AND…what are you to do when all the spaces in front of your favortie coffee shop are on the diagonal coming from the left, but you can only get to the shops from the right?  Drunk Designer I’m telling you.  It’s the only explanation… really. 


Green Frog

So I was mowing the lawn and this frog kept jumping in front of my mower…even though I moved him several times…suicidal?

Lost in the Sameness

I exited the elevator and began down the hall that I traversed just two days ago, when I realized that I was not on the right floor. A silly mistake? Perhaps. But what I noticed was enlightening…or weird, you might say. I hadn’t realized the mistake until I had approached where the doctor’s office should have been because the hallway looked just like the floor below. The hallways were both white with paintings and lithographs spaced out approximately every three feet and hung at the precise height of six feet. (Okay, maybe it was five and a half…but you get the idea.) As I turned to retrace my steps, a piece of artwork caught my eye and I stopped to admire it. The work wasn’t that much different from those on either side of it, but there was something that drew me to it. The colors were slightly darker than those around it and that’s when I realized I was at the mid-way point of the hallway. Someone had gone through the pains of making a focal point out of a long white hallway. “How weird is that?” I said to myself, as I moved on. Then I got to thinking about the artist of that painting…imagine the excitement of hearing his/her work had been purchased, only to find out that it is hanging in a lonely white hallway in a medical building. That’s gotta be kind of a bummer, don’t you think? I entered the elevator and pushed the second floor where I exited. Not to my amazement, it looked just like the third floor. And yes, it too had one piece of artwork that was slightly different from all the others smack dab in the middle of the hallway. It made me think of the designer who had the wonderful job of decorating hallways…hum. Imagine the excitement of graduating with an Interior Design degree only to decorate halls…again…bummer. Or not. Imagine the conversation with mom and dad…
“I got my first job! I’m so excited!” (Designer, for those of you not sure.)
“That’s great! What will you be doing?” (Parents)
“I’ll be decorating hallways.” (Designer, still excited.)
“Oh, that’s nice honey. (Mom who is trying to be encouraging…Dad who is trying not to laugh.) My trip to the doctors was weird…or what I was thinking was weird.

Then I realized something profound as I exited the highway on my way home. As I looked about me, I saw all the big box stores that I saw earlier on the exit by the doctor’s office. It was all the same. And I knew from experience that the exit further up the freeway had the same box stores too. When did every exit become a mirror imagine of the one before and after it? Was some commercial designer tasked with designing exits and he/she made them all the same? Was it just easier to make everything the same? Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the satisfaction in that? What was the focal point in all the sameness? Was it the mom and pop restaurant tucked between Dick’s Sporting Goods and Best Buy? Suddenly I could imagine getting off on the wrong exit and being lost in the sameness…I quickly looked around and that’s when I saw it, Duck’s Donuts, and I knew I was good.

The Start of a New Career…

Have you ever jumped into something, like blogging, and had  no idea what you were doing? Well, most of my life I have been jumping into new experiences that have made me the person I am today. I had not planned on starting a new career at this point in my life, but here I am taking on the world of writing.

The choice  to leave teaching was mine, and now I’m on a journey to find my place in history…and to be honest, it is the best decision I have ever made. I’m not getting paid monetarily, but I’m being paid in the luxury of finding peace and time to enjoy what really matters…my husband, children, friends and family.  I can’t wait to share with whomever will listen,  to the stories of my life both past and present.   It should be an interesting journey of  discovery both for the reader and myself. Thanks for coming along for the ride…